The future talk

We carried on having the most amazing times together. We did everything together!
On the 22nd September 2017 we stayed in another hotel at The Spot. It was a gorgeous hotel. Paul was stood outside waiting for me getting off the bus. He was hiding something behind his back with a massive grin on his face. We checked in and got to the room. He gave me a card and three gorgeous roses (roses are my favourites) "What's this for" I said. I opened the card and it was a Thank You for being there for him and being so caring. His Grandad had just died. He came over from Tonga to stay with him and his Sister and had celulitus and didn't get out of hospital😪 I remember going to the hospital with Paul and I met more of his family. Amelia came right over to me and stayed on my knee. Paul went in the room to see his Grandad. It was such a sad time for them all.
How thoughtful. I was falling more and more in love with this man. We chilled out for a bit before getting ready to go out. We started talking about me staying in Australia and what my options were. My flight was booked to leave in the November as I had only planned to go over for 7months (that all changed as soon as I met Paul). After trying every option possible the only way was for me to go and do my farm work. 88days of regional work. Paul cried, I cried. We were both a right mess. He said he kept visioning me at the airport and him waving me off and that being it. He couldn't deal with that and he didn't want me to go and he wanted us to always be together. I felt exactly the same. So I'd already been looking and and I'd applied for quite a few jobs but never heard back. We carried on looking together. "I don't want you to have to go and do that" he said "I don't want you working like that" "It's my only option Paul" Nannie's can't be sponsored or my boss would have sponsored me. She said that herself. A couple of days later I applied for a job on a Winery in a place called Griffith. It was still in New South Wales but an hour and a half flight away. I tried to look and apply for jobs in `Sydney so we could still always see each other but it just wasn't possible. The jobs had to be regional. That was the whole point as to why you get a second year visa as its the hard work that the Australia's don't want to do. We would do anything we could to be together♡

Soppy soppy soppy

 The next day we got up feeling all refreshed and relaxed. Off we went on the bus. I said "Do you remember what we said last night?" "Yeaah" he replied. I smiled and said "I love you" "Love you too" he said. We were like two giddy kids.

The following weekend we went to Coogee beach and talked for hours. He said "This is forever" 

My life was made in that moment.

We were walking through Circular Quay and I was telling him all about me and why I moved away. So here goes....... I've always felt out of place here in Cumbria. Like I didn't belong and my heart was somewhere else. My friends had children before me and were settled and I was just the third wheel in all relationships. Throughout life like many of us I have gained friends and lost (I will talk about that later on) I moved to Cheshire in April 2014 at the age of 26. I got a job at a Nursery in Knutsford. Knutsford is a place close to my heart as my Dad is from there and my Grandma still lives there. My Grandad died the September before and I couldn't bare the thought of my Grandma being down there on her own. I'd always wanted to move away and always wanted to try Knutsford or Manchester. So off I went. My first day at work on the Monday was shit. People down there didn't make me feel welcome (at first anyways) total different breed to us Cumbrians. I'd say Hello to people that walked past me and they'd jump a mile and reluctantly say it back. Anyway I kept being me. I left after my 10hour shift on my first day and called my pal Kayleigh. Her Daughter Lyla, my god daughter came on the phone (she was my absolute world) and before I left I looked after her in a Nursery and hated that I was leaving her. "When are you coming back to look after me" Wellllllllllll my heart just sank and I burst into tears. What the f#*k have I done I thought. I'd left loved ones and came to a place I'd been coming to for 26 years but never met anyone. I was starting a fresh new life and I now felt petrified. I stuck that job out for 6months and met some great people in the end. I also had an absolute blast working in a bar on bottom street on Friday and Saturday nights. I felt so young again and loved that no one knew me but got called "That Gordie Girl" Nah very wrong. I was sick of explaining that I lived two hours away from Newcastle. "You sound just like Cheryl Cole" They'd say and I'd reply with "I wish I looked like her!" Paul said how do you feel here? and I said "Like I fit in. I feel really happy"

     

Time to meet the Fam

After searching the internet and having my search team doing overtime. Paula Niua of Paramata Eels did not exist. He'd just got an iPhone so I messaged him and said so are you really a rugby player? I then facetimed him and asked him. The look on his face proved he was a gob shite. God love him. Trying to impress me he said. He was gutted and said he understood if I didn't want to be with him anymore. "Don't be daft!!! I think its hilarious!"

We were in a hotel. We'd met up after work on the Friday evening. "My Sisters just text to see if we want to go out with them tonight for Amelia's Birthday?" "Yeah ok then" I said petrified. I was excited too. This is getting serious I thought. We got ready and went to get the bus. At the bus stop his sister and niece was there. I didn't feel as worried about tonight as I'd already got to meet them. So so lovely:) and what a gorgeous little girl! She was going to her Ballet class. There she was in her little leotard and tutu. We went to Bondi Junction and I rummaged the shops for something to wear and we got Amelia a little Birthday present. We then went onto Bondi Food Markets. We both had Dim Sum. Absolute yummo!! We had another night booked at the hotel. Perouse Lodge in Randwick, The Spot. It was difficult as Paul lived with his Sister, Brother in-law and Niece and I was a live in Nanny. Hotels were the only option but they were very pricy. We went back to the hotel and started to get ready. Off we went to Coogee Pavilion for drinks and a meal. Tongan's LOVE a good feed and really I was already Tongan. They ordered loads of different pizzas and other dishes and at one point I had three Corona's next to me. I felt loved already and Amelia took to me right away. She wanted to sit next to me. WINNING! What a gorgeous little family. I was loving the company. I tried to pay for what I had and they wouldn't take the money. "Thank you so so much!" I can't even explain the Tongan Culture. It's just gorgeous and I'm still learning and can't wait to go over for a holiday and to meet my extended family in person rather than just on FaceTime. Paul met my Mam and Dad a couple of weeks before (on FaceTime of course). He couldn't understand a word my Dad said. I don't half the time. A Manc with a Cumbria accent. Difficult. He took the phone from me and spoke to my Mam. What a gentleman. He was so frightened but clearly wanted to impress. Me and Paul carried on the night and waltzed over to Coogee Bay for a dance. Paul seemed to be in a weird mood and wandered off dancing with every Tom, Dick and Harry and I was just left stood watching. I was like, hmmmm, this is weird. A guy came over to me. Jeeeez I attract them. He was off it, like so so drunk. Staggering and slurring his words at me. Paul decided to come over and the guy soon left me alone. Paul went back off and danced. Ohhhh here we go...... stupid fucking anxiety kicking in. I was all hot a clammy and went and got some fresh air outside. I could barely breathe. Full on attack. Paul soon followed "Whats wrong?" he said. I could hardly talk. "I'm just gonna go back to the hotel" "Tell me whats wrong" he said worryingly. "I'm just gonna go back" I said still out of breath. He got me in a taxi and came with me. We didn't speak a single word. We got back to the room and he said "Are you going to tell me whats wrong" With his hands on my shoulders. Eventually I was able to speak. "I've had an attack" He thought I'd been attacked. Trying to explain to him something he had no idea about or no idea of why it happened was very hard. I went and got in the shower as I was actually soaked. Even I was shocked with that one. They've never been that bad! I still don't really know what brought it on. I'm thinking insecurity from the past. I think I thought he was going to go off with someone else. Leave me after he'd just introduced me to his family. I got out the shower and got into bed. We both just lay there in darkness on our backs looking up and the ceiling. He was probs asking himself what the fuck had just happened. He rolled on top of me and said "Tell me whats wrong" I said "I can't" "Why" "I just can't, its too soon" "Tell me!!" he said. I giggled a while, took some deep breaths and whispered in his ear......... "I love you" Right away he lent up looked right at me (my eyes had gotten used to the darkness so I could see him) and said "I love you too!" We just laughed and had the biggest hug. Right away a felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. I was content.

22/07/2017

  Today was Paula's Birthday. Once when we were at Circular Quay we were looking at the Harbour Bridge and I said I'd love to climb it and so did he. So I booked him as a surprise The Harbour Bridge Climb. I was working in the morning and rushed getting ready and met him off the Ferry. Paul had work that morning too. He worked Monday-Saturday. He was an absolute grafter and loved his job! Off we went to find the entrance. We were also staying over in a hotel as we were going out that night to celebrate the Birthday Boy turning 26........ Well I thought his was but he was actually 25. Some might call me a cougar💁 We had an hour and a half safety demonstration and a breathalyser test. Off we went. A wee gang of us. It was bloody harder than I thought. Paul walked infront of me coz I didn't want my fat arse in his face. We were hooked on and weren't allowed anything on us only sunglasses and they had to be attached to those gorge lace things around our neck. It was steps most of the way up. I thought great Kim Kardashian eat your heart out. We got half way up and had photos taken by our tour guide. Walking further up and taking in the most amazing view he asked if we were a couple or just friends. There was a long pause and Paul answered with "Friends" My heart sank. I felt like jumping off but I was conveniently attached to the big get of a bridge. Pull yourself together you prat. It's only been 3 weeks. We took a few more steps and Paul turned round and said "You ok?" "Yeah fine thanks" I replied out of breath. I was frigging knackered!! I think he knew I felt shit with him saying "Friends" I put it behind me and carried on. We made it to the top and crossed over to the other side. There was a guy playing a guitar and another Maori looking guy singing "The power of love" Well I just absolutely love that song! His voice was amazing. The tour guide then took a video of us. We were both showed up cause we didn't know what to do (video to follow). Coming back down was a breeze and seemed like 10 minutes and we were back on land. The sun was setting on our way down. It was stunning. I'd never seen over the other side of the bridge (little did I know we'd be getting married there exactly 9months later). We got sorted and headed to the hotel. We started getting ready. I got out the shower makeup free. WHY are us girls so scared for boys to see us without makeup on. So silly. He couldn't have cared less. Make up✅ dress on✅ hair done✅ bag ready✅ selfies✅ Off we went. We even got a photo in the lift. We had a great night. I bumped into my hostel mates so that was nice and they got to meet Paul. I also got chatted up at the bar by a guy who loved my eyes and asked me to model for him😂 too funny hun! He showed me his Instagram page and he said whats your name on here and he added me🙈 couldn't really escape from that question could I. He asked me what I was out for. I said "I'm on a date actually" He said well if it doesn't work out message me. He massaged me the very next day. I ignored the poor sod.

Second Date

  We went to Taronga Zoo. I'd been a few times with the three kids I looked after. It's a great Zoo. My boss gave us her passes so it was a cheap date really. I got the Ferry over to Circular Quay. I called Paul when I got there. "Where you at" I screeched down the phone as it was so busy and loud. I couldn't hear him. I seen him laughing at me with his HUGE head phones on. I couldn't hear him coz he'd already clocked me and was laughing at me, frantically looking for him!! Little shit.

There was a street act on so we walked over to that at watched it. I had a long bag over my shoulder. He told me to put it over me and to be careful as it was so busy. He put his arm around my back. I knew I loved him right there. I could tell he was so caring and loving (I wasn't wrong). We made our way over to the Zoo on the ferry. We had great time. We got back to Circular Quay and I took him to the BEST ice cream shop in the world....... Messina. Soooooooo good! Paula made me feel so safe and free. I felt so calm and happy around him. We just laughed all the time and there was never a dull moment.

After our second date we were inseparable. We both worked very long hours through the week so would meet up every weekend. Sometimes we were able to meet up after work for a couple of hours.  Our favourite place to hang out was Circular Quay and we went to Coogee a lot and The Spot in Randwick. There was an awesome bar called Bat Country. We went in there one night had three cocktails each and can't remember coming out! They were so so strong! I tried to play it cool. I think we both did but it didn't last long. We were head over heels for each other.

 

 

First Date

  I woke up at 12pm. I text Paul. Next thing my phone was ringing in my hand. I can't cope! I'm scared. I'm shy. ANSWER THE F#*KING PHONE!! "Hello" I said in a timid voice. We were talking for an hour and a half!! And by the end of the phone call I had a date!! He asked me on a date! "Can I take you out for cocktails?" Damn right you can! I was so so bloody chuffed. I shoved my huge dressing gown on and went with a beaming smile to see my boss. "I'm in love" I said. "Tell me all!!" she said all excited. We searched for him all over the internet as he was a famous rugby player. Couldn't find him. I let my friends back in England know that I was going on a date. He was a rugby player. I text my brother. I found him on facebook and sent photos. One friend even said "F#*k off!! How have you managed a date with him!!" (Charming) We talked later on the night for three hours. Not once was there any silence. His English was really good and he taught me some Tongan. What a beautiful language. I didn't know where Tonga was so he explained. I googled it and its like paradise! I read up on their culture which seemed wonderful and my boss said they were very lovely, family orientated people. She couldn't have been more right. We planned our date for the Friday night. I would go to the place where he lived. Randwick, The Spot. We talked all week. There was never a dull moment. Friday finally came. It was my day off. I need something new to wear. I got ready and took myself to Bondi Junction, Westfield on the bus. I shopped for hours and hours, I messaged Natalie and said whats The Spot like? I imagined it to be like some sort of Mall filled with restaurants but it was just a lovely little chilled out street filled with restaurants and bars. So she said just to wear something smart/casual. I went to my favourite shop Glassons, and got a black and white stripped wrap top then I went to Just Jeans and got some black skinny high waisted jeans. I already had a bag and some shoes. I tried on soooooooo many outfits but finally I was happy with what I got.
  I got home and started to get ready. I didn't feel nervous. I was actually chilled. I've only ever been on one date before so I wasn't used to this and I thought I should have been more nervous. I was excited. I'd missed him. (weird) I ordered my Uber (driving angels) and made my way to his flat. He lived with his older sister, brother-in-law and niece. Of course I got lost! Even in the Uber. I have them his address!! I was round the back. I called him and then seen him come out the gate. He looked for fresh and smelled clean and delicious. He had black skinny jeans on and a white shirt. I could tell her was nervous. It was cute. We walked up the road talking. I was probs too loud but I felt excited. My lace came undone on my stupid shoes and I could hardly bend down to tie them as my jeans looked painted on. I double knotted them. Didn't want to show myself up again. "What do you fancy to eat" he said. "I'm easy" I replied. We ended up in a little Italian style place called Isabella's Spot. I ordered steak (standard) and Paul ordered seafood spaghetti. We got our first drink. I can't actually remember what I had. Either vodka and coke or a wine. Paul got some juice from his pasta on his shirt. He didn't notice and me being me told him. He was showed up but I thought it was funny. Typical first date disaster. After we had finished Paul got up and went to pay. "You didn't have to do that!" I said. "I'd never let a woman pay." he replied. "Come on, I said I wanted to take you for cocktails" he said. We walked further down the street and came to another bar. We got a couple of cocktails and talked and talked.

After that we wanted a dance so went back to Coogee Bay Hotel where we first met. We got a little table and Paul got the drinks in. I got absolutely shit faced!! (photos and video to follow) I went to the toilet and met some girls in there. They asked if I would take a photo of them. Then I told them I was on a first date. "Ohh my god, hows it going?" "Really well I think. He's so bloody hot!" They were three Australia girls. "Come and meet him" I said. So they followed and thankfully he was still there. We talked loads (no idea what about) Sarah took my phone as she noticed my friends had messaged to see how it was going. She took a photo of us and said "Going well girls." She took my number and we messaged a couple of times. Me and Paul even seen her again in Coogee Bay Hotel and had a dance with her. She was lovely. Our first date was perfect and I couldn't wait for the next one.

                                                                                         

      These were the two photos I sent to my Brother and my friends.                             

Sweet but Psycho

  Right! Just carry on dancing I thought. I think I'm a great dancer. I was in my own little world (as usual) I had my back to "my future husband' and thought how can I get him to notice me. (Little did I know, he already had). The night seemed so long. It was about 10pm. I carried on drinking and generally loving life. Natalie and Rob left. No idea what time and I was left with the other couple who bought me drinks all night. They were so lovely. A Kiwi guy and a Scottish girl. I had my eye on my husband all night and then seen him talking to another girl. GREAT! Out of luck. I carried on dancing, got told to get off the stage after snake hipping to Justin Bieber- Despacito. Like how desperate!! Just notice me. Come and talk to me! Because I'm not coming to talk to you. Thats not my thing. I don't know how to flirt!! And the most someones ever flirted with me was when I was in a pet shop and an African Grey wolf whistled as I walked past. Champion. Any way............. He was still talking to this other girl then I seen her leave. He didn't go with her. Bonus! He kept going outside and talking to the security guys. I could see him from the large windows as my face was pressed against the glass stalking him. The couple I was with said they were leaving so I walked to the doors with them. "Do you want to share our taxi?" "Ohh no thanks don't worry you're the opposite direction to me. I'll get in the next one". I had no clue where I was or where it was they lived and if it was in the opposite direction or not. I knew I wasn't going home it was only 1am and I was determined to catch my husbands eye. So I thought right. Next plan......... FaceTime Sophie (my good pal in Cheshire) She was getting ready for a night out. It was 4pm there and she was doing her make up. My husband was standing talking to security again and I was stood down the couple of steps to the left leaning against the wall. Two police officers walked past "Say hello to England" I gollared. They said "Hello England" and Sophie said it back. She must have been thinking What The F+*k! I then turned to security and done the same thing (what a loser). I came back to my wall and my husband came behind me, put his arm around me and waved "Hello England" The look on my face!! "Bye" I shouted and put the phone down. In a split second I felt chuffed, excited, nervous, scared and so bloody great with myself. Mission accomplished!
  For some reason he decided to play fight (thats all I could describe it as) like a boxer so me being me did it back and he said "Ohh you can box". I said "Yeah I used to go boxing" (true). I said "Whats your job and how old are you?" "A rugby player and I'm 25". Ok I'm 29 I thought. Hmmm this could maybe work. I do usually go for around the same age or older. This is ok. "Who do you play for?" I said. "Paramatta Eels" "Ohhh I've heard of them I said. My brother played Rugby. He said "Can you play pool". "Yeah" I replied (false). As we walked inside back to the sports bar where I was before he said "What's your name?" "Charlotte, whats yours?" "Paul" There were a few pool tables. He lined up his coins and then went to the bar to get us drinks. I instantly thought what a gentleman. In the past this has never happened to me. It was always me spending my money. We played pool for hours and we got talking to a few other people along the way. We talked the whole time and I asked him where he as from "Tonga" and I'm from "England" He thought I was Lebanese. He played a couple of games with some other guys while I sat and watched texting my bestie Kayleigh. She said send me a photo now!! So I sent her one of him that I took on the sly. Kayleigh said he was perfect coz he was in all black (we love all black clothes). He seemed to know everyone. "Do you come here often" I said. "Yeah every weekend" I was full on flirting. Potting the balls with the cue behind my back! Who even am I!! He walked past me to take his shot and kissed me. I was like, I'm in love!! It was literally love at first sight. That night I was on a mission. I needed to find a husband, a best friend. Someone I could turn to and have the best of times with. Could this be him? Even though I'd only known him a few hours, I felt like I'd known him forever. Something was telling me this is good. He is a good man. It got to about 4-5am and he said "Lets go for a walk" "Ok" I said scared but excited. We walked along a little path lit with street lamps. It was quite breezy and I could hear the sea but couldn't see it. He held my hand. Right away I felt protected. "I'll take you to a special place I like to go" I said joking "Ohh is that where you take all the girls?" "No" he said laughing. "Get on my back" so I did and he carried me down a small bank onto the cliff edge. I panicked and joked saying "Ohh I'm scared, please don't kill me, I'm too young to die!" He laughed "Just take my hand and trust me" I did. I could feel sand in my sandals. He said "Look at that view" "What view?" I said in my sarcastic voice. "It's pitch black and all I can see is lights" He laughed and said "Well when its light its a beautiful view". We left there and went and sat on a bench and kissed. I said "I need to go home now before the family wake up and I walk in showing myself up" That was one of the difficult things about being a live in Nanny. I  wanted to stay half professional and respectful even when I wasn't working. We set off walking back and he asked for my number. YESSSSSS! I felt so happy. He began to take my number and when he came to put my name in he paused. I said "You've forgot my name haven't you!" He did this gorgeous little smile (I still remember the way he looked at me, all shy with his stunning deep brown eyes) and stored my number as Beautiful. "You little sicko!" I joked. We got to the taxi rank and he said "Do you want to stay at mine?" I said "No I do not, I'm not like that!" and he said "Ohh no thats fine" with a look of terror on his face. "I've ran out of money" I said, shamed. "Well get in this taxi with me, I'll go to mine (it was literally up the road) and I'll get you some cash coz I haven't got enough either" I said "No, I'm not staying at yours!" "No" he said "Trust me" So I got in the taxi and got to his. He explained to the taxi driver and said "Go nowhere" He came back out 30seconds later and handed me a 50 dollar note. Wow! How kind is this man. "Thank you so much!!" "Let me know when you get home" He said. "I will. Thanks again" and off I went. I got home, went to the bathroom, came to bed and had a text off him. I replied and said I was home. And off to sleep I went. A very giddy girl.

I found him

  I kept in touch with the guys from the hostel and went out with them a few more times.
Then Natalie got in touch and asked if I wanted to go and watch the Rugby game in Coogee where she lived with some other couples. I got myself ready, got a bus to Bondi Junction (thats the only route I knew by bus) panicked and flagged down the next passing cab. I got to Natalie's flat and we had cheese, biscuits and wine. Perfect combo. I had previously met Natalies boyfriend Rob on our first night out when we fell through the door on 'The wine night' He's originally from Wales and had been in Australia 7 years. He was so so lovely and even though we were very drunk and most definitely annoying he was so calm and welcoming. He even ordered us a Chinese!! Perfect gentleman. This was the 1st July 2017 and I'd just done 'No junk June' so decided to go wild. I felt great! I've always struggled with my self esteem. Finally I was happy with the way I looked and my style. I wore some super skinny black jeans with cute little tassels around the ankles, a white top, black leather jacket and my black Dr Marten sandals (I love black). My hair was down and I'd only recently had it done at a VERY expensive salon in Rose Bay. It was just past my shoulders in length, dark and really shiny. I felt positive this day. The sun was shining (99% of the time it did. After all I was in Australia) To me though, there was a slight chill as it was "Winter" (23 degrees). I started to get tipsy and said what I thought was in my head "I'm going to find my husband tonight!" "And I want him to be a Maori" Natalie and Rob told me there was a Maori guy in the flat below that had just split up from his girlfriend. To which I replied "Too soon" It's ok I'll find him tonight I said. I'm going to find my husband.
  We stumbled down the hill into Coogee to a place called 'Coogee Bay Hotel' We walked to the back of the place where we came to a huge room with a massive screen. Rob went to the bar for drinks. I watched the game (well in a fashion) It was a great atmosphere and I felt the night was going to get even better. I'm not going to lie. I was like a dog on heat looking for a Maori or any kind of Pacific Islander!! I did see one. I didn't even have to see his face. He was tall, dark and muscular. That could be him I thought. I looked a little further and seen a girl next to him. Ohh never mind.
  Once the game finished we carried on the night in the sports bar. Everyone was getting drunker and drunker and I felt a bit lonely. I noticed a kebab shop across the road and told the rest of the guys that I was going for something to eat. I went all out as June was over and ordered chips, cheese and garlic dip. What a classy bird! I sat outside on the pavement and ate them like I'd never been fed. I went back into the bar. My friend Evie had messaged and said they were going out in New Town. I went on my Uber app to see how long my journey would take and it said 30mins. That would cost me a fortune, and then I needed to get home again. I was so close to going.  I then noticed an ice cream parlour. "I'm just going for an ice cream" I told them. I can't even remember what flavours I ordered but it was HUGE! I sat in on my own. I went back to the bar and when I came through the main doors off the street, to my left was a room filled with disco lights and music blaring 'Beyonce- Single Ladies' YESSSSSSS! I went to gather everyone. Some left and me, Natalie, Rob and another couple went in to dance. As I walked through the double doors and found my spot to let rip I turned around and seen three men walk through the doors. I turned to Natalie and said "There's my husband!"

  I never knew what lay ahead of me but I was hoping for amazing things.
I packed up my flat, packed my bags and said goodbye to loved ones. Off I went.... to Australia!

 I was working in a private school as a Nursery Teacher in Cheshire where I met a family with 3 children from Australia. They offered me a job to Nanny for them when they moved back over which would be in March 2017. After a lot of umming and arhhing and trying to make up excuses not to go (how ridiculous of me) I decided to take this amazing opportunity! What was there to lose.
  On the 27th April 2017 I left Manchester Airport (with my woking/holiday visa) and made my long journey over to Sydney. When I arrived in Australia (all by myself!! never been known to be independent. Yes, I shocked myself)  I was greeted by my employers where they took me to their family home in Rose Bay. I settled in nicely as a live in Nanny.
A few weeks passed and I started to feel very lonely. After only knowing one friend, originally close to my home town I met up with her and we both hit the wine after a lovely afternoon at The Bondi Food Markets. What a laugh we had and it was so good to have a piece of Cumbria (that is where I'm from) so close.  It was just what I needed.

We kept in touch the whole time and still do now. 5 weeks passed and I got lonely again. I'm not a fan of being alone. It frightens me. I like company. I have anxiety and have suffered from depression in the past and I could feel this creeping over me like the Grim Reaper (I am a MASSIVE fan of Sia and her song makes so much sense). How could I feel this way!! I was living the dream! Somewhere or something I never envisioned happening to me. I spoke to my boss (she's such a great pal) and she suggested I went and stayed in a hostel the following weekend. I had a look online, Bondi or Glebe. Glebe sounded right up my street! So I booked it. Two nights in the YHA. I sat outside the morning of 9th June 2017 two hours before check in with a very heavy oversized bag looking like a backpacker (well I thought I did). I panicked. What if I don't meet anyone, what if I don't like the people, what if they don't like me. At least 6 times I nearly left. Pull yourself together Charlotte, I told myself and off I walked up the steps with my very heavy OVERSIZED bag. I checked in. Went to my room. No one was there. Great!! How am I going to make friends if there's no one here I thought. As I moved closer into the room there was a young girl sat opposite my bunk bed on the top. Evie. We hit it off and went out for lunch. That weekend was just what I needed. I had two nights out, met some great people and spent A LOT of money. One thing I can tell you about Australia is it's VERY expensive.