I am overwhelmed by all the love and support we have received from our petition. It means the world! We’ve had no news as of yet. It’s still early days and still, nothing may come of it but it’s worth a try.
Just an update from my previous entries.....
I am now medication free🙌🏼 I felt they weren’t needed when Paul came back and my medicine seems to be this blog. It’s doesn’t half help writing everything down. I speak the truth and say exactly how I’m feeling.
I left the care company and started as a trainee pharmacy dispenser. I still work the two jobs, in Swain and in the Pharmacy to earn the £18,600 per year. Our social life is very much on hold as all our money has to be saved to be able to reapply for the Visa come February. We can’t apply for it until Paul is out of the country (they are just the rules).
Life is difficult but isn’t it for all of us. It’s a bloody get at times. As long as we have each other it’s all good♥️
Saturday, October 26, 2019
Saturday, August 17, 2019
Praying for a miracle
We got back to Grandma's. Mam was waiting at the front door with Milla. Obvs I got my camera out. Paul walked towards her. She was staring and acting shy. He gave my Mam a huge hug and Milla smiled. He put his arms out to her and off she went. What a beautiful thing I was experiencing. Finally with his girl💖
We went inside and got settled. Going over and over what had just happened. "It's just not right" Dad said. We read through the paper work again. Over and over. We just couldn't believe the officers reasonings. There was a number to call. We had an early night. We were all completely drained.
The next morning Dad called the number. He spoke to an Officer who wasn't on duty the day before but had heard about our case and suggested we emailed BF Man Sea. We did just that. A couple of hours later as my Dad and Paul were packing up our car to leave, I got an email. "Quick I've got an email." I couldn't read it. I wanted everyone to be present. Milla was upstairs taking a nap. All four of us stood in the hall way. I lent down and read it out. Susie one of the Higher Officers based at Manchester Airport reviewed Paula's case after having no prior involvement yesterday. She explained all and assured us that she had taken our views into consideration. "I have taken the decision to overturn Paula's refusal of leave to enter on this occasion, and I have granted him leave to enter for six months" 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 We love you Susie!! And Dad if it wasn't for you taking it further he'd only have a few days left. We are so grateful.
Well.............. I shot up, all four of us jumped up and down screaming. Dad was in tears, Mam was in shock, I felt like I'd been knocked over and Paul actually did fall over!! We all cried and hugged then we heard our baby girl awake from her nap. Paul went to get her and held her so tight as we all told her the news. WOW! Can you actually believe it. Yesterday was the worst day of our lives and today the best. An absolute rollercoaster of emotions. I'm so exhausted with a constant bad head but I'm sure it'll all pass soon. The stress and strain on our bodies for the last 7months have been unbearable but now its time for all that to leave, chill and enjoy the ride💟
We went inside and got settled. Going over and over what had just happened. "It's just not right" Dad said. We read through the paper work again. Over and over. We just couldn't believe the officers reasonings. There was a number to call. We had an early night. We were all completely drained.
The next morning Dad called the number. He spoke to an Officer who wasn't on duty the day before but had heard about our case and suggested we emailed BF Man Sea. We did just that. A couple of hours later as my Dad and Paul were packing up our car to leave, I got an email. "Quick I've got an email." I couldn't read it. I wanted everyone to be present. Milla was upstairs taking a nap. All four of us stood in the hall way. I lent down and read it out. Susie one of the Higher Officers based at Manchester Airport reviewed Paula's case after having no prior involvement yesterday. She explained all and assured us that she had taken our views into consideration. "I have taken the decision to overturn Paula's refusal of leave to enter on this occasion, and I have granted him leave to enter for six months" 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 We love you Susie!! And Dad if it wasn't for you taking it further he'd only have a few days left. We are so grateful.
Well.............. I shot up, all four of us jumped up and down screaming. Dad was in tears, Mam was in shock, I felt like I'd been knocked over and Paul actually did fall over!! We all cried and hugged then we heard our baby girl awake from her nap. Paul went to get her and held her so tight as we all told her the news. WOW! Can you actually believe it. Yesterday was the worst day of our lives and today the best. An absolute rollercoaster of emotions. I'm so exhausted with a constant bad head but I'm sure it'll all pass soon. The stress and strain on our bodies for the last 7months have been unbearable but now its time for all that to leave, chill and enjoy the ride💟
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| Helping Daddy open his Birthday and Father Day presents💚 |
14/08/2019
Paul's coming home😃😃😃
Me, Milla, Mam and Dad went down to Grandma's the night before. I didn't sleep much that night. Lying in my Grandma'a bed with Milla beside me in her travel cot. My brain was doing overtime. Not even the Anti-depressants were helping. I kept visioning him here with us and planning all the lovely things we were going to do. But I was also visioning him not being here and having that feeling of emptiness as I have done for six and a half months. It was safe to say, I was shitting myself!!
Me and Milla were awake at 5.45am. We lay there, me in silence and her chatting away to herself. What a cute little voice she has. Gosh Paul will see a MASSIVE difference in her. He will be so so proud.
We got up and got ready. Mam and Dad were nervous wrecks but we all kept it together.
His flight was getting in from Abu Dhabi at 7.25am. We got to the airport about 7.45. We parked up, put Milla her pram and flew over to arrivals. We waited, and waited. 9.30 he still wasn't here. I couldn't even tell you how many people walked through that gate. Where was Paul? It wasn't this long last time and they'd called me by now. I had my phone gripped in the palm of my hand on loud. No call was made to that phone. I knew he'd be with Immigration. It happened last time. I was petrified but was feeling positive. Surely it's got to be good news. He'll walk through those gates any minute now. Milla was loving life. Showing off walking around and eating snack after snack until there wasn't any left. I even packed her dinner (just incase) Its a good job I did. I went to the Information Desk. "Hi. My Husbands flight got in at 7.25 from Abu Dhabi. I was just wondering if you could find out where he is please. He will more than likely be with Immigration but I just want to check" "No problem. Whats his name and nationality?" "Paula Niua, He's Tongan" "I'll call them now"
"Yes he's in Immigration" she said whilst putting the phone down. "They are just doing some checks" "Right ok" "Come back again in the next hour and I'll update you" "Fab. Thanks a lot"
I was starving. There was a Greggs. Winning. I got us all a bacon sarnie. Dad had sausage. We waited some more. I nipped into Boots to get Milla some baby snacks. "This is where Mammy's going to work soon." Yes I stayed in the care company for 4 weeks. I wasn't earning enough money so had to go. I absolutely loved it as well so it was a shame. Such a rewarding job. I applied for Boots as a Trainee Pharmacy Dispenser and got it:) I am so grateful and lucky. So I'll now be working there and Swain. Earning the money I need to to apply for another Spouse Visa around March next year.
We went and sat on some chairs. Still waiting. An hour later I went back. I went up to that information desk I don't know how many times and each time it was someone different sitting there. They called them again for me and had a go at the girl and said they would call when they needed too!! Paul was texting me. This doesn't look good babe, he said. I'm so so hungry. Then later on he called and said it had been refused. Before I jumped to any conclusions I said take a photo of the letter and send it to me. His head must have been all over the place. I was sad cause he won't of understood the letter. He had no internet to be able to send me the photos. Mam, Dad and Milla left at about 12.30. Milla was asleep but was getting very bored so we agreed they would leave and I would stay. Keep in contact with them and call my Dad when I, or we needed picked up. The most shocking part was, I'd been there that long, he was just the other side of those gates, we hadn't seen each other for six and a half months and all I wanted to know was is is ok?
Texts flew back an forth. He had 4% battery. I honestly don't know how it lasted as long as it did. I then got a phone call from a number. They had found Paul's suitcase. So I had to arrange that to go over to Immigration. Basically he hadn't claimed it as he had been detained.
15.30 and a girl I had spoken to at the Information Desk said Charlotte, and waved me over. She handed me the phone. "Hello" "Hi is that Charlotte" "Yeah it is" "Hi, I'm one of the Immigration Officers here at Manchester Airport. I have your Husband here. I have gone through all evidence and checks and I'm not satisfied that he is a genuine visitor" I burst into tears. "He has also recently had a Spouse Visa refused." I explained why, but she'll already know why. "But he hasn't seen his Daughter for six and a half months" "I can see that and as I think this is exceptional I have granted him to one week on Immigration Bail. I will sort out the flight you already have booked for his return but it will be in a weeks time." "Who will look after my Daughter now while I have to go to work?" She couldn't answer me. "I now work two jobs to earn the £18,600 to be able to apply for a Spouse Visa next year once Paul arrives in Tonga. He was coming over to care for our Daughter for six months to make this possible. What do you expect me to do now?" "I can tell you are very upset" NO SHIT SHERLOCK. "You have to make sure he comes back Charlotte in a weeks time to get back on his flight to Tonga" Well now I felt like a criminal. The most frustrating part was we've done everything by the books. Followed every rule. Cut no corners. And it's done us no good.
There was now another woman stood in front of me. "Are you ok? Whats happened?" I told her the crack. She was so lovely. I could hardly talk. Tears streaming down my face. She went and grabbed me a tissue. As she came back with a piece of blue roll a lady handed me a nice packet of tissues. "Thank you so much" I stuttered. Janice, the lady was called at the Information Desk. She was my saviour. She looked after me. I felt even more alone and needed Paul in my arms so I could comfort him. I text him and told him. They hadn't even let him know. They had just gave him the refusal papers. I said not to worry and we would get through this. We are stronger than ever and have came this far. Maybe we could live in Tonga, Australia or New Zealand. We will talk about it through the week. I went and waited again on the seats. I kept burning into tears. So many people were around me. All different races. Families waiting for their loved ones with 'Welcome Home' signs. I was crying at their reactions. It was beautiful to see the love.
Janice had finished her shift and came and gave me a MASSIVE hug and told me to take care of myself. She said she will be crying all the way home. Bless her. Janice if you're reading this,
Thank You for being so kind😘
"Could you give Immigration a call for me please and see how long he'll be?" I said to the girl from earlier. I told her his Visa had been refused. "They are just sorting his flight out and then they will release him and the Chief of Immigration is coming to see you"
Ohhhhh I was ready for him.
I went back to the seats. I'd literally sat on every one. I called my Mam and told her the crack. Dad was out walking the dogs. She text me a little later to say he was on the phone to our Immigration Agent. He then called me. Basically they have tried to find any reason not to let him in the country. They have gave him a week because there is only two flights a week to Tonga. Also with the return flight I had booked they would only need to pay a change of date fee but if they had sent him back today they'd have had to pay for his flight. It can cost thousands. She also said it was a load off bull shit and we have just caught an Officer on a bad day. There is absolutely no reason why he can't come into this country on a Visitor Visa because it has nothing to do with a Spouse Visa.
I got talking to a lovely lady who had came from Wales to pick up her son and daughter. I know you're reading this so thank you for being with me and listening😊
16.30. I kept my eyes on those gates and out he walked. Looking disorientated and completely knackered! "He's here!!" I gave my new friend a big hug and ran over to him. I held him tight. He had doubled in size. We both cried. "Are you ok?" I said. "Yeah" He sobbed, wiping his eyes. The Chief had gone and stood at the side. I soon followed him. I couldn't believe my Husband was here. He explained everything and said he doesn't normally come out here. I explained my story and he couldn't answer me. I could tell he was actually gutted about the decision that had been made. I said he's left England before and went back to Tonga so why wouldn't he go back again? "Because he has said he wants to reside in the UK with his Daughter and Wife, we believe that he won't go back" I kept my cool but I wanted to shout WHAT A LOAD OF BULL SHIT! I said we've done everything by the rules, look at us we are genuine with a genuine relationship, with a Daughter and Married. "I know how you're feeling because I married my wife who's from overseas and we have a Daughter too." "Things need to change. We as a family have been a tick sheet! Each case needs to be treated individually. It's just so unfair" The guy was actually a decent man. He made sure I knew Paul had to return to the airport to get on the flight next week. They hadn't managed to sort the flight out but he said they will email me with the date and times. Paul shook his hand (what a gentleman) and off we went. To Greggs🤣 We sat there before I called my Dad. Kissed and hugged. Paul ate his sandwich and me my Belgium bun, MMMMM! I facetimed my Mam. She was crying and couldn't speak. Milla was napping. Wow I can't wait for her to see her Daddy. They had kept him in a room with security with no food and water for 9hours! After a 35 hour flight. He had to ask for water. I was disgusted.
"Now lets go home and make the most of our week together"💖
Me, Milla, Mam and Dad went down to Grandma's the night before. I didn't sleep much that night. Lying in my Grandma'a bed with Milla beside me in her travel cot. My brain was doing overtime. Not even the Anti-depressants were helping. I kept visioning him here with us and planning all the lovely things we were going to do. But I was also visioning him not being here and having that feeling of emptiness as I have done for six and a half months. It was safe to say, I was shitting myself!!
Me and Milla were awake at 5.45am. We lay there, me in silence and her chatting away to herself. What a cute little voice she has. Gosh Paul will see a MASSIVE difference in her. He will be so so proud.
We got up and got ready. Mam and Dad were nervous wrecks but we all kept it together.
His flight was getting in from Abu Dhabi at 7.25am. We got to the airport about 7.45. We parked up, put Milla her pram and flew over to arrivals. We waited, and waited. 9.30 he still wasn't here. I couldn't even tell you how many people walked through that gate. Where was Paul? It wasn't this long last time and they'd called me by now. I had my phone gripped in the palm of my hand on loud. No call was made to that phone. I knew he'd be with Immigration. It happened last time. I was petrified but was feeling positive. Surely it's got to be good news. He'll walk through those gates any minute now. Milla was loving life. Showing off walking around and eating snack after snack until there wasn't any left. I even packed her dinner (just incase) Its a good job I did. I went to the Information Desk. "Hi. My Husbands flight got in at 7.25 from Abu Dhabi. I was just wondering if you could find out where he is please. He will more than likely be with Immigration but I just want to check" "No problem. Whats his name and nationality?" "Paula Niua, He's Tongan" "I'll call them now"
"Yes he's in Immigration" she said whilst putting the phone down. "They are just doing some checks" "Right ok" "Come back again in the next hour and I'll update you" "Fab. Thanks a lot"
I was starving. There was a Greggs. Winning. I got us all a bacon sarnie. Dad had sausage. We waited some more. I nipped into Boots to get Milla some baby snacks. "This is where Mammy's going to work soon." Yes I stayed in the care company for 4 weeks. I wasn't earning enough money so had to go. I absolutely loved it as well so it was a shame. Such a rewarding job. I applied for Boots as a Trainee Pharmacy Dispenser and got it:) I am so grateful and lucky. So I'll now be working there and Swain. Earning the money I need to to apply for another Spouse Visa around March next year.
We went and sat on some chairs. Still waiting. An hour later I went back. I went up to that information desk I don't know how many times and each time it was someone different sitting there. They called them again for me and had a go at the girl and said they would call when they needed too!! Paul was texting me. This doesn't look good babe, he said. I'm so so hungry. Then later on he called and said it had been refused. Before I jumped to any conclusions I said take a photo of the letter and send it to me. His head must have been all over the place. I was sad cause he won't of understood the letter. He had no internet to be able to send me the photos. Mam, Dad and Milla left at about 12.30. Milla was asleep but was getting very bored so we agreed they would leave and I would stay. Keep in contact with them and call my Dad when I, or we needed picked up. The most shocking part was, I'd been there that long, he was just the other side of those gates, we hadn't seen each other for six and a half months and all I wanted to know was is is ok?
Texts flew back an forth. He had 4% battery. I honestly don't know how it lasted as long as it did. I then got a phone call from a number. They had found Paul's suitcase. So I had to arrange that to go over to Immigration. Basically he hadn't claimed it as he had been detained.
15.30 and a girl I had spoken to at the Information Desk said Charlotte, and waved me over. She handed me the phone. "Hello" "Hi is that Charlotte" "Yeah it is" "Hi, I'm one of the Immigration Officers here at Manchester Airport. I have your Husband here. I have gone through all evidence and checks and I'm not satisfied that he is a genuine visitor" I burst into tears. "He has also recently had a Spouse Visa refused." I explained why, but she'll already know why. "But he hasn't seen his Daughter for six and a half months" "I can see that and as I think this is exceptional I have granted him to one week on Immigration Bail. I will sort out the flight you already have booked for his return but it will be in a weeks time." "Who will look after my Daughter now while I have to go to work?" She couldn't answer me. "I now work two jobs to earn the £18,600 to be able to apply for a Spouse Visa next year once Paul arrives in Tonga. He was coming over to care for our Daughter for six months to make this possible. What do you expect me to do now?" "I can tell you are very upset" NO SHIT SHERLOCK. "You have to make sure he comes back Charlotte in a weeks time to get back on his flight to Tonga" Well now I felt like a criminal. The most frustrating part was we've done everything by the books. Followed every rule. Cut no corners. And it's done us no good.
There was now another woman stood in front of me. "Are you ok? Whats happened?" I told her the crack. She was so lovely. I could hardly talk. Tears streaming down my face. She went and grabbed me a tissue. As she came back with a piece of blue roll a lady handed me a nice packet of tissues. "Thank you so much" I stuttered. Janice, the lady was called at the Information Desk. She was my saviour. She looked after me. I felt even more alone and needed Paul in my arms so I could comfort him. I text him and told him. They hadn't even let him know. They had just gave him the refusal papers. I said not to worry and we would get through this. We are stronger than ever and have came this far. Maybe we could live in Tonga, Australia or New Zealand. We will talk about it through the week. I went and waited again on the seats. I kept burning into tears. So many people were around me. All different races. Families waiting for their loved ones with 'Welcome Home' signs. I was crying at their reactions. It was beautiful to see the love.
Janice had finished her shift and came and gave me a MASSIVE hug and told me to take care of myself. She said she will be crying all the way home. Bless her. Janice if you're reading this,
Thank You for being so kind😘
"Could you give Immigration a call for me please and see how long he'll be?" I said to the girl from earlier. I told her his Visa had been refused. "They are just sorting his flight out and then they will release him and the Chief of Immigration is coming to see you"
Ohhhhh I was ready for him.
I went back to the seats. I'd literally sat on every one. I called my Mam and told her the crack. Dad was out walking the dogs. She text me a little later to say he was on the phone to our Immigration Agent. He then called me. Basically they have tried to find any reason not to let him in the country. They have gave him a week because there is only two flights a week to Tonga. Also with the return flight I had booked they would only need to pay a change of date fee but if they had sent him back today they'd have had to pay for his flight. It can cost thousands. She also said it was a load off bull shit and we have just caught an Officer on a bad day. There is absolutely no reason why he can't come into this country on a Visitor Visa because it has nothing to do with a Spouse Visa.
I got talking to a lovely lady who had came from Wales to pick up her son and daughter. I know you're reading this so thank you for being with me and listening😊
16.30. I kept my eyes on those gates and out he walked. Looking disorientated and completely knackered! "He's here!!" I gave my new friend a big hug and ran over to him. I held him tight. He had doubled in size. We both cried. "Are you ok?" I said. "Yeah" He sobbed, wiping his eyes. The Chief had gone and stood at the side. I soon followed him. I couldn't believe my Husband was here. He explained everything and said he doesn't normally come out here. I explained my story and he couldn't answer me. I could tell he was actually gutted about the decision that had been made. I said he's left England before and went back to Tonga so why wouldn't he go back again? "Because he has said he wants to reside in the UK with his Daughter and Wife, we believe that he won't go back" I kept my cool but I wanted to shout WHAT A LOAD OF BULL SHIT! I said we've done everything by the rules, look at us we are genuine with a genuine relationship, with a Daughter and Married. "I know how you're feeling because I married my wife who's from overseas and we have a Daughter too." "Things need to change. We as a family have been a tick sheet! Each case needs to be treated individually. It's just so unfair" The guy was actually a decent man. He made sure I knew Paul had to return to the airport to get on the flight next week. They hadn't managed to sort the flight out but he said they will email me with the date and times. Paul shook his hand (what a gentleman) and off we went. To Greggs🤣 We sat there before I called my Dad. Kissed and hugged. Paul ate his sandwich and me my Belgium bun, MMMMM! I facetimed my Mam. She was crying and couldn't speak. Milla was napping. Wow I can't wait for her to see her Daddy. They had kept him in a room with security with no food and water for 9hours! After a 35 hour flight. He had to ask for water. I was disgusted.
"Now lets go home and make the most of our week together"💖
Thursday, July 11, 2019
.............
So....... The whole Family are sat round at my Grandma's, the eve of her funeral. Paul messages me. The post office have called him to say his documents are there and ready to collect. He'll ring me when he gets them. 10.30am his time and our 22.30. WhatsApp Video call. I can't even remember what he said now. I was numb. "Send me screen shots" I said. 'Your human rights claim in an application for entry clearance made on 15/03/2019 is refused'. That's all I could read. Is this some kind of sick joke. Paul's face. If only I could hug him right now. The numbness only became stronger. My brother took my phone off me and read through the reasons why. "WOW" he said. "What, tell me what!" I was frantic. "Shut up and let me sink this in then I'll explain" I felt shit. He was only trying to help. "Right" he said. Then explained everything. So here goes- He met eligibility for our relationship and eligibility for the English test. He passed on everything that was needed but the financial side. With a spouse visa you need to have a sponsor and with that I was to sponsor him but because I didn't earn the £18,600 per year I couldn't so my Dad would as third party. We had spoken to a retired immigration agent previous and she said that was fine. So we went ahead and did so. Because Paul had wrote a cover letter saying myself and Milla would be cared for by my parents and living in their home he knew we would be safe. He also said that he would worry about not being in Milla's life and her growing up without him and that she needed stability and believes a family should not be torn apart. My Dad also wrote a cover letter stating that me and Milla would live in his family home and we would be cared for until Paul came back and was able to work. This has gone against us. Another reason to the visa being refused was- 'Based on the information you have provided we have decided that there are no such exceptional circumstances in your case.' So basically if me and Milla were living on the streets they would consider that as exceptional. And breath........... I'll let you take that in too. It gets worse- 'We have reached this decision because you have demonstrated your sponsor and child is being financially supported by her parents, moreover you have noted about the separation between you and your child. I note you are a non-visa national and your wife is able to travel too. I further note you are able to keep in contact via social media and other means. Through this you can still exercise a family life with your sponsor and child. I am not satisfied a refusal would result in unjustifiably harsh consequences for you, your sponsor or any other family member. There are no exceptional circumstances in your case.' WOW (now I know what part my brother was reading.) It took me days to read through the reasons for refusal. It still baffles me. "A social media relationship" FUCK ME! Who was this decision maker. A robot? Someone with no soul. No humanity? No children? God forbid me for not falling in love with a British citizen! How criminal. So yeah. That's basically it. We decided we were going to appeal. We would talk about this another day. Tonight and tomorrow were about Grandma. We called Paul back and reassured him. "Thank you Jonathan" We were all so upset. He was helpless and there was nothing we could do right now.
The next day was a very sad one. We all had heavy hearts. What a beautiful send off for our head of the family. We all miss her terribly.
Later that day we were back at her wonderful home and Jonathan said call the Immigration Agent. He'd been looking for them the night before. I can't remember if I've said previously but we didn't pay for one when applying for Paul's visa (we won't be doing that again). I called one up in Manchester. I got an appointment for the very next day at 15.00. Perfect!
Me and Dad drove through. We went to a little office (this agent was recommended on the government website so we knew she was legit). She asked the situation (I've gotten really good at telling a very long story in approximately 7 seconds). I showed her the screen shots of the visa. "Right ok. You (she pointed to me) need to go and get a new job. You need to make at least £18,600 per year. Paul can't apply for another visa until you can prove this wage with 6months of wage slips." Shocked but surprisingly calm I was. Dad was a mess. He asked so many questions. "Can we appeal?" "I'm going to be honest with you . You could, but you might get a really nice judge that day in court with some humanity who will feel sorry for you BUT he still has to obey by the rules. It can also take up to a year for an appeal to even happen" Basically the government changed the rules (they do this quite often) 4-5 years ago. You were able to have a third party sponsor on a spouse visa but now the sponsor has to be the spouse. I have to go and find another job earning this amount or more. That means going full time and leaving my baby girl. Obviously its not what I want to do but I am prepared to do anything to get our family back together. Paul can come over on another visitor visa (6 months). We have to get the timing right because we are going to use this Immigration Agent (£650) to fill in the visa application with me and Paul present. So I got a new job only yesterday morning. Working as a carer in the community. I am absolutely devastated to have to leave a job that I truly love and to leave such an amazing team. I will miss you Swain Fam💚 but I am also really excited for a new adventure. My first wage slip will be the end of August. My sixth wage slip will be the end of January. So Paul will come over the middle of August and leave again the middle of February. He has to be out of the country to apply for a visa. We will fast track it this time which will give us a quicker decision but will also cost us £500. We have lost all the money for that application and Paul will have to start a fresh one. Our immigration agent will go through it all with Paul while he is here in this country and scan all his documents which get uploaded onto the system which is better then sending all the forms off and costing us more money (another new change in the system thats just came in in the last couple of weeks).
So thats where we are up to now. This country has failed me and my family. This whole situation has effected so many people on so many levels. I'm going to be honest (thats what this is about) I had to give in and go to the doctors last week. A good friend said to me if you had a chest infection you'd go and get antibiotics. If you had a water infection, you'd go and get antibiotics. So class anti-depressants as antibiotics. You have an infected brain so take antibiotics. They are slowly kicking in. They aren't forever but I have suffered for longer than I should have and I needed the help and there is absolutely no harm in asking for help. We all need to. And you know what, it makes you feel so much better just talking about it. For anyone reading this and wants to talk, please do. I'm always here. What I said to the doctor was (as I got very upset and promised myself I wouldn't) that if Paul was here this wouldn't be happening. My mental and physical health wouldn't be affected and I wouldn't be costing the NHS. By Paul not being here it is costing the government more money as because he is out of the country I'm classed as a single parent and I'm entitled to universal credits. More fool them.
Fingers crossed my next post will be Paul💙
The next day was a very sad one. We all had heavy hearts. What a beautiful send off for our head of the family. We all miss her terribly.
Later that day we were back at her wonderful home and Jonathan said call the Immigration Agent. He'd been looking for them the night before. I can't remember if I've said previously but we didn't pay for one when applying for Paul's visa (we won't be doing that again). I called one up in Manchester. I got an appointment for the very next day at 15.00. Perfect!
Me and Dad drove through. We went to a little office (this agent was recommended on the government website so we knew she was legit). She asked the situation (I've gotten really good at telling a very long story in approximately 7 seconds). I showed her the screen shots of the visa. "Right ok. You (she pointed to me) need to go and get a new job. You need to make at least £18,600 per year. Paul can't apply for another visa until you can prove this wage with 6months of wage slips." Shocked but surprisingly calm I was. Dad was a mess. He asked so many questions. "Can we appeal?" "I'm going to be honest with you . You could, but you might get a really nice judge that day in court with some humanity who will feel sorry for you BUT he still has to obey by the rules. It can also take up to a year for an appeal to even happen" Basically the government changed the rules (they do this quite often) 4-5 years ago. You were able to have a third party sponsor on a spouse visa but now the sponsor has to be the spouse. I have to go and find another job earning this amount or more. That means going full time and leaving my baby girl. Obviously its not what I want to do but I am prepared to do anything to get our family back together. Paul can come over on another visitor visa (6 months). We have to get the timing right because we are going to use this Immigration Agent (£650) to fill in the visa application with me and Paul present. So I got a new job only yesterday morning. Working as a carer in the community. I am absolutely devastated to have to leave a job that I truly love and to leave such an amazing team. I will miss you Swain Fam💚 but I am also really excited for a new adventure. My first wage slip will be the end of August. My sixth wage slip will be the end of January. So Paul will come over the middle of August and leave again the middle of February. He has to be out of the country to apply for a visa. We will fast track it this time which will give us a quicker decision but will also cost us £500. We have lost all the money for that application and Paul will have to start a fresh one. Our immigration agent will go through it all with Paul while he is here in this country and scan all his documents which get uploaded onto the system which is better then sending all the forms off and costing us more money (another new change in the system thats just came in in the last couple of weeks).
So thats where we are up to now. This country has failed me and my family. This whole situation has effected so many people on so many levels. I'm going to be honest (thats what this is about) I had to give in and go to the doctors last week. A good friend said to me if you had a chest infection you'd go and get antibiotics. If you had a water infection, you'd go and get antibiotics. So class anti-depressants as antibiotics. You have an infected brain so take antibiotics. They are slowly kicking in. They aren't forever but I have suffered for longer than I should have and I needed the help and there is absolutely no harm in asking for help. We all need to. And you know what, it makes you feel so much better just talking about it. For anyone reading this and wants to talk, please do. I'm always here. What I said to the doctor was (as I got very upset and promised myself I wouldn't) that if Paul was here this wouldn't be happening. My mental and physical health wouldn't be affected and I wouldn't be costing the NHS. By Paul not being here it is costing the government more money as because he is out of the country I'm classed as a single parent and I'm entitled to universal credits. More fool them.
Fingers crossed my next post will be Paul💙
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Bloody hell what a farce
He got to Tonga. He made the epic journey in 35hours. He was there 6weeks before he submitted the visa. We just wanted to get it right. A Family Settlement Visa and my Dad would be sponsoring him as his Spouse (me) didn't earn the £18,600 per year. There are lots of different rules to the different type of visas. It completely fucks with your head. Mainly they want money out of you. I wouldn't even say they were protecting our country. I have no idea in what the logic is behind our system. Personally I think its a load of bull shit!
His Visa was done and submitted online on the 21st March. £1,300 it cost. He then had to make an appointment for Fiji Uk Embassy as that was the closest one to Tonga. He did that, then I booked him a flight. He would stay with family for two nights. $600 for a return flight which took 2 hours to get there. Off he went. He had already filled in his paper visa and collected all evidence. Marriage certificate, birth certificates, cover letters, proof of address, employment contract, the list goes on. He had a file full and all the evidence and the evidence for my Dad to sponsor him. Utility bills, proof of earnings etc. He then had to do his Biometrics (photo and finger prints). He was in that appointment 10 minutes!! All this money and effort for a 10minute appointment! Ridiculous. The guy said right well I'll get all this sent off to the UK Australia Embassy in Sydney. He couldn't send his passport off as obviously he needed to get back to Tonga the following day. So he gave him a large envelope and said to send it all off once he was back home. He did exactly that. It cost him $140 to send it!!!! And it still took a week to get there. I was tracking it from here. Thankfully it had got there. So all we needed to do now was wait on a decision. Up to 60 working days. That took us to the 13th June. Cool, surely with our situation they'll make this quick.
It was May and we still hadn't heard anything. I called Immigration myself. £1.47 per minute it costs to speak to someone. They couldn't give or tell me any information on the status of Paul's visa. Smart. I'm only his Wife, raising his child without him, trying to get him back. I was getting emails as I'd emailed them previously. £5.48 it costs to send an email to Immigration then if its about the same case its no further cost. I got an email back to say his Visa was awaiting a decision. There was no rush here clearly. They knew everything about us. They literally had our lives in front of them. A cover letter to say how me and Milla would be cared for by my parents until Paul came back and started his job and we were able to get our own place. Paul saying how hurt and upset he feels about being pulled away from his Daughter and Wife and how these are the most important times to be a father. Watching your child grow and learn. The list goes on.
Now in May and still nothing. I sent an email to Theresa May. I got a reply from her admin worker. Asking for some more details, Visa Reference, full name etc and that he would pass the following information onto the correct Immigration department. I got an email back. I was getting that many emails off different people because I was frantic and wanted answers. I had emailed loads but it was very rare that you'd get a reply from the same person you were once emailing. So dysfunctional. We didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Then the week before we were supposed to have our decision Paul got an email off a woman from Sheffield Embassy to say they hadn't received my Dad's sponsor details. He assured her that they were all sent along with the visa application to Sydney and that he had proof of postage. She asked for that so Paul sent her it. He got an email back to confirm the documents had been found and faxed over to Sheffield and sorry for the delay. The day after that he received an email to say his application was in the hands of the decision maker. All this waiting, all these weeks, months finally felt like they were coming to an end.
In this time my Nannie was in a terrible state in hospital, really really ill. Luckily she made a miraculous recovery. She's doing great now. But my Grandma down in Cheshire passed away suddenly. My heart is broken. So many emotions, I couldn't control them. I was exhausted. Trying to hold everything together for Paul and Milla's sake. Surely we're due some good news. I needed to get away. I went and spent some time down at Grandma's with Milla and my Dad. Her house is my happy place. I lived there with her before I went to Australia. I walked in for the first time and she wasn't sat in her chair. I broke down. I was a mess. I didn't want my Dad to see me so upset as this was an awful time for him. His one Mum, her only Son. I put Milla down on the floor. She sat looking confused staring at my Grandma's chair, babbling away to herself. Jeeeeez, this was awful. We stayed for two nights then I went back to work for two weeks before her funeral. Her only Brother was in Canada visiting his son and he wouldn't be back until the 1st July. Her funeral was the 2nd.
I called immigration so many times. One time it cost me £20 and I spoke to a Jamaican man who couldn't understand what I was saying and I couldn't understand what he was saying. He wanted Paul's IHS number. I said I haven't got that. He would gibe out any more information as I didn't have it. I called the next day and spoke to an English man. I was thrilled. I explained I needed this IHS number and the previous guy wouldn't give me it and the guy said he would send it back out to Paul via email. He's still waiting for that email. Two weeks before my Grandma's funeral I called Immigration AGAIN and spoke to a girl who I'd actually spoken to the week before as it was passed the 13th June and we still hadn't heard anything and she said she would send like a reminder to hurry things a long. I told her we still hadn't heard and she remembered me. I told her in a nut shell the situation and she said "He hasn't seen his baby since the 2nd February!!!!! That is disgusting!" I got upset on the phone and said he needed to be home for a family bereavement. We spoke for a short while and she said she would cancel my last enquiry as it still hadn't been looked at put it through as urgent. The following day I was at work and I go a message off Paul to say he had got an email. He forwarded it onto me and it said-
A decision was made on your application on 18th June 2019 and you will be contacted shortly regarding the return of your documents.
I felt physically sick! Why haven't they told us if its a yes or a no! How long is this going to take to get to him? Does this mean its a yes? Are the documents the return of his documents? Does this mean the documents are saying its been refused and why?
I googled How long does it take to get your documents back after applying for a visa. Up to two weeks was the answer for most. Is he going to get his passport and the visa will be stamped in it? I was so so excited. We could literally be back together in a couple of weeks. Even though I had negative thoughts I tried to stay positive. The Law of Attraction and all that.
His Visa was done and submitted online on the 21st March. £1,300 it cost. He then had to make an appointment for Fiji Uk Embassy as that was the closest one to Tonga. He did that, then I booked him a flight. He would stay with family for two nights. $600 for a return flight which took 2 hours to get there. Off he went. He had already filled in his paper visa and collected all evidence. Marriage certificate, birth certificates, cover letters, proof of address, employment contract, the list goes on. He had a file full and all the evidence and the evidence for my Dad to sponsor him. Utility bills, proof of earnings etc. He then had to do his Biometrics (photo and finger prints). He was in that appointment 10 minutes!! All this money and effort for a 10minute appointment! Ridiculous. The guy said right well I'll get all this sent off to the UK Australia Embassy in Sydney. He couldn't send his passport off as obviously he needed to get back to Tonga the following day. So he gave him a large envelope and said to send it all off once he was back home. He did exactly that. It cost him $140 to send it!!!! And it still took a week to get there. I was tracking it from here. Thankfully it had got there. So all we needed to do now was wait on a decision. Up to 60 working days. That took us to the 13th June. Cool, surely with our situation they'll make this quick.
It was May and we still hadn't heard anything. I called Immigration myself. £1.47 per minute it costs to speak to someone. They couldn't give or tell me any information on the status of Paul's visa. Smart. I'm only his Wife, raising his child without him, trying to get him back. I was getting emails as I'd emailed them previously. £5.48 it costs to send an email to Immigration then if its about the same case its no further cost. I got an email back to say his Visa was awaiting a decision. There was no rush here clearly. They knew everything about us. They literally had our lives in front of them. A cover letter to say how me and Milla would be cared for by my parents until Paul came back and started his job and we were able to get our own place. Paul saying how hurt and upset he feels about being pulled away from his Daughter and Wife and how these are the most important times to be a father. Watching your child grow and learn. The list goes on.
Now in May and still nothing. I sent an email to Theresa May. I got a reply from her admin worker. Asking for some more details, Visa Reference, full name etc and that he would pass the following information onto the correct Immigration department. I got an email back. I was getting that many emails off different people because I was frantic and wanted answers. I had emailed loads but it was very rare that you'd get a reply from the same person you were once emailing. So dysfunctional. We didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Then the week before we were supposed to have our decision Paul got an email off a woman from Sheffield Embassy to say they hadn't received my Dad's sponsor details. He assured her that they were all sent along with the visa application to Sydney and that he had proof of postage. She asked for that so Paul sent her it. He got an email back to confirm the documents had been found and faxed over to Sheffield and sorry for the delay. The day after that he received an email to say his application was in the hands of the decision maker. All this waiting, all these weeks, months finally felt like they were coming to an end.
In this time my Nannie was in a terrible state in hospital, really really ill. Luckily she made a miraculous recovery. She's doing great now. But my Grandma down in Cheshire passed away suddenly. My heart is broken. So many emotions, I couldn't control them. I was exhausted. Trying to hold everything together for Paul and Milla's sake. Surely we're due some good news. I needed to get away. I went and spent some time down at Grandma's with Milla and my Dad. Her house is my happy place. I lived there with her before I went to Australia. I walked in for the first time and she wasn't sat in her chair. I broke down. I was a mess. I didn't want my Dad to see me so upset as this was an awful time for him. His one Mum, her only Son. I put Milla down on the floor. She sat looking confused staring at my Grandma's chair, babbling away to herself. Jeeeeez, this was awful. We stayed for two nights then I went back to work for two weeks before her funeral. Her only Brother was in Canada visiting his son and he wouldn't be back until the 1st July. Her funeral was the 2nd.
I called immigration so many times. One time it cost me £20 and I spoke to a Jamaican man who couldn't understand what I was saying and I couldn't understand what he was saying. He wanted Paul's IHS number. I said I haven't got that. He would gibe out any more information as I didn't have it. I called the next day and spoke to an English man. I was thrilled. I explained I needed this IHS number and the previous guy wouldn't give me it and the guy said he would send it back out to Paul via email. He's still waiting for that email. Two weeks before my Grandma's funeral I called Immigration AGAIN and spoke to a girl who I'd actually spoken to the week before as it was passed the 13th June and we still hadn't heard anything and she said she would send like a reminder to hurry things a long. I told her we still hadn't heard and she remembered me. I told her in a nut shell the situation and she said "He hasn't seen his baby since the 2nd February!!!!! That is disgusting!" I got upset on the phone and said he needed to be home for a family bereavement. We spoke for a short while and she said she would cancel my last enquiry as it still hadn't been looked at put it through as urgent. The following day I was at work and I go a message off Paul to say he had got an email. He forwarded it onto me and it said-
A decision was made on your application on 18th June 2019 and you will be contacted shortly regarding the return of your documents.
I felt physically sick! Why haven't they told us if its a yes or a no! How long is this going to take to get to him? Does this mean its a yes? Are the documents the return of his documents? Does this mean the documents are saying its been refused and why?
I googled How long does it take to get your documents back after applying for a visa. Up to two weeks was the answer for most. Is he going to get his passport and the visa will be stamped in it? I was so so excited. We could literally be back together in a couple of weeks. Even though I had negative thoughts I tried to stay positive. The Law of Attraction and all that.
Sunday, June 30, 2019
Living life as a single parent
Woah. Hats off to you single parents.
Everyone has their issues, demons, what ever you want to call them. But let me tell you mine. Some days I would wake up and not want to be here. Some days I wake up full of life. Some days Milla would have me up at the crack of dawn and I would be very grumpy and other days I was glad and knew I needed to make the most of our time together. As we know, they aren't babies for long. Some days I had things planned others I had nothing planned. Somedays my head would be telling me to leave they house but my gut was telling me not to. I have battled for a very long 5 months now. Baby groups. Cool. Ok I'll go. They were ok. Babies all Milla's age and I knew their parents so it made it easier. Some days I couldn't get sorted in time and would sack the groups off. With only working two days I had A LOT of head fuck time. Work keeps me sane. So thank you Swain Fam....... and clients. What a dream that place is. If it wasn't for there I'd have cracked up. It was where I could be myself without anyone judging me (or if they did I didn't feel that) and hide from my problems. People genuinely care and ask me at every appointment how I'm doing and how Paul was getting on. It gets tiring explaining the same crack over and over. Most of it sounded ridiculous. Thats because the situation is. I tell people and to me it sounds like I'm lying. I get home from work and just crash. Forget to eat most of the time. Then eat biscuits. Lie in the bath. Look on my phone. Put your fucking phone down says my head. I have so much to do. What are we gonna do tomorrow? I wonder how I'll feel I the morning. I wonder if I'll get a good nights sleep. I wonder what time Milla will wake up. I used to mediate. Head Space. It's a saviour. So thank you Head Space. I've sort of lost touch with it though. My biggest demon is going out alone. I hate leaving the house. I panic I'm going to bump into someone I don't want to. It's so silly. My anxiety has been on top form since Paul left. I've held everything together for our girl. If it wasn't for her I don't know where or if I'd even be here.
Friends. What is a friend? My definition of friend is- being there through good times and bad. Checking in every now and then. Getting the help when asking for it. Noticing something is wrong or noticing when something is right and being happy for that friend. Making time for one another. This is another thing. Everyone has their own lives. People have their own problems but also people are too wrapped up in their own shit and only care about themselves. Since narrowing down the "Friend" title I know for sure who mine are. The ones who pretend to care really don't. But I have them sussed. I've made some really shit judgements in life. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and listen to both sides (a lot don't do that. Always two sides to every story.) I've lost friends and let friends down. I became a person I didn't know anymore. I got myself into shit situations. WhatsApp groups are the devil. They attract so much negativity. People love drama and love to see people having a shit time but would never speak about someone who is doing well. We're all guilty of this. I'm glad I've come out the other end. I met up with a best friend of years yesterday. We had spoke through the week and talked a little about mental health. The voices in your head. I don't have voices in my head. I started to read Fearne Cotton- Quiet and she mentions the voices. I don't have them I thought. As I was driving on the M56 I noticed the voices!!!! Its my voice. Ahhhhh, get it!
We actually fell out. We both had a lot going on. Prime example of what I've just been talking about. How dare we let shit come between our friendship. I spent the night in her beautiful home and felt at peace. We talked a little about whats gone on and then talked all about us and what we had missed in that year. WOW how much we had missed. It's very sad but I'm so glad we can see past it all. Anything what was said. Anything that was said in anger or encouraged by others. We are past it. Thank you you conker😉
I have a long way to go yet. Whether its asking for help from a doctor or waiting to be reunited with Paul because you know whats most upsetting, all these feelings weren't here when I had him here.
Raising Milla on my own has been god damn hard but the most amazing thing I have ever done. Paul thanks me every day for caring for her. We have had the most wonderful of times. It's been very sad as it hasn't been the three of us and we have been robbed as a family. But once we are reunited we will carry on making memories💛
MASSIVE thank you to those friends that have been with me on this epic journey.
Everyone has their issues, demons, what ever you want to call them. But let me tell you mine. Some days I would wake up and not want to be here. Some days I wake up full of life. Some days Milla would have me up at the crack of dawn and I would be very grumpy and other days I was glad and knew I needed to make the most of our time together. As we know, they aren't babies for long. Some days I had things planned others I had nothing planned. Somedays my head would be telling me to leave they house but my gut was telling me not to. I have battled for a very long 5 months now. Baby groups. Cool. Ok I'll go. They were ok. Babies all Milla's age and I knew their parents so it made it easier. Some days I couldn't get sorted in time and would sack the groups off. With only working two days I had A LOT of head fuck time. Work keeps me sane. So thank you Swain Fam....... and clients. What a dream that place is. If it wasn't for there I'd have cracked up. It was where I could be myself without anyone judging me (or if they did I didn't feel that) and hide from my problems. People genuinely care and ask me at every appointment how I'm doing and how Paul was getting on. It gets tiring explaining the same crack over and over. Most of it sounded ridiculous. Thats because the situation is. I tell people and to me it sounds like I'm lying. I get home from work and just crash. Forget to eat most of the time. Then eat biscuits. Lie in the bath. Look on my phone. Put your fucking phone down says my head. I have so much to do. What are we gonna do tomorrow? I wonder how I'll feel I the morning. I wonder if I'll get a good nights sleep. I wonder what time Milla will wake up. I used to mediate. Head Space. It's a saviour. So thank you Head Space. I've sort of lost touch with it though. My biggest demon is going out alone. I hate leaving the house. I panic I'm going to bump into someone I don't want to. It's so silly. My anxiety has been on top form since Paul left. I've held everything together for our girl. If it wasn't for her I don't know where or if I'd even be here.
Friends. What is a friend? My definition of friend is- being there through good times and bad. Checking in every now and then. Getting the help when asking for it. Noticing something is wrong or noticing when something is right and being happy for that friend. Making time for one another. This is another thing. Everyone has their own lives. People have their own problems but also people are too wrapped up in their own shit and only care about themselves. Since narrowing down the "Friend" title I know for sure who mine are. The ones who pretend to care really don't. But I have them sussed. I've made some really shit judgements in life. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and listen to both sides (a lot don't do that. Always two sides to every story.) I've lost friends and let friends down. I became a person I didn't know anymore. I got myself into shit situations. WhatsApp groups are the devil. They attract so much negativity. People love drama and love to see people having a shit time but would never speak about someone who is doing well. We're all guilty of this. I'm glad I've come out the other end. I met up with a best friend of years yesterday. We had spoke through the week and talked a little about mental health. The voices in your head. I don't have voices in my head. I started to read Fearne Cotton- Quiet and she mentions the voices. I don't have them I thought. As I was driving on the M56 I noticed the voices!!!! Its my voice. Ahhhhh, get it!
We actually fell out. We both had a lot going on. Prime example of what I've just been talking about. How dare we let shit come between our friendship. I spent the night in her beautiful home and felt at peace. We talked a little about whats gone on and then talked all about us and what we had missed in that year. WOW how much we had missed. It's very sad but I'm so glad we can see past it all. Anything what was said. Anything that was said in anger or encouraged by others. We are past it. Thank you you conker😉
I have a long way to go yet. Whether its asking for help from a doctor or waiting to be reunited with Paul because you know whats most upsetting, all these feelings weren't here when I had him here.
Raising Milla on my own has been god damn hard but the most amazing thing I have ever done. Paul thanks me every day for caring for her. We have had the most wonderful of times. It's been very sad as it hasn't been the three of us and we have been robbed as a family. But once we are reunited we will carry on making memories💛
MASSIVE thank you to those friends that have been with me on this epic journey.
Thursday, June 27, 2019
Airport.......... round 2 (2/2/2019)
The day had arrived. We were so excited. Sounds funny but we just wanted him out the country before his visa ended. Two days and it was over. We didn't have time for another cock up. We travelled down the day before and stayed at Grandma's for the night as his flight was early afternoon. We got to the airport in plenty of time and joined the cue. We were on pins. I was watching like a hawk to see if he had got checked in. My Dad had to go for a walk. YESSSSSSSSSSS! Then the emotions started. My tummy was in knots. We stood and made small talk as he held his girl for the last time in a long time. My heart was breaking. Mam and Dad gave us some time but stood close. "You should go soon" Paul said. It was just cruel. You could tell the hanging around was killing him. He said goodbye to my Mam and Dad and thanked them for everything. All three of them, then me were bawling our eyes out. Is this really happening. I was still hoping someone was going to come over to us and say "It's ok, he can stay" We walked towards the departure gate for him to go through customs. "Look after our baby girl" We said our goodbyes. I stood in floods of tears as he went up the escalator. He walked along the corridor and I could see him in every window until there were no more. I turned around and left for the lift. A worker was looking at us in horror. Bless him. I couldn't breath. I was holding my girl tight. Does she realise whats just happened. I don't know whether I'd had a panic attack or an anxiety attack. I was numb.
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| George Ezra- Hold my girl reminds me of this picture so much💔 |
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| She's just a Daddy's girl💖 |
Another few days
We got home and we were numb. “Has that actually just happend?” We all kept asking each other. There was nothing we could do that night as it was late so I would make some phone calls in the morning.
I called budget air and explained the situation. I said you never stated that he needed a transit visa. “You should have just known” “Ive never heard of a transit visa and why should I just know. I don’t often make the two day journey to Tongan. In fact I never have!!” I was so pissed off. I was left on hold three times why he went to speak to "His manager" He explained that I could either book another flight and pay the difference or lose my money. "I'll book another flight for this weekend please" Off he went. On hold. Came back. "Right theres no flight this weekend to Tonga" "No flights. Really!" Then he went again. On hold. "I can get Paula to Sydney. Is that ok" "You can get him to Sydney? No that's not ok. He needs to get home. This is the problem he's just had!" Off he goes again. On hold. "No sorry I can only get him to Sydney" "So I'm going to lose my £899 plus fees!" "Yes" Smart. Thanks for nothing.
My Mam rang my Uncle and he went to Cumbria Travel in town. He called and said go down and speak to Jamie. He can sort you out. So off we went. Me, Paul, Mam and Milla. Jamie was great. He got Paul a flight to Tonga for the Saturday. So Budget Air were talking shit. Jamie said there were plenty of flights. He even called New Zealand Government to see if Paul needed a Transit Visa. He didn't as his stop over wasn't for longer than 8hours. His route home was different this time. He flew from Manchester- Do-ha -New Zealand- Tonga. Epic. With Budget Air it was going to take 45 hours and with Cumbria Travel only 35. It cost £1,500. I couldn't recommend them enough.
We had a lovely few days together. Just us. It was a strange feeling. It didn't feel as sad as we'd felt the worst pain the week leading up to him going.
I called budget air and explained the situation. I said you never stated that he needed a transit visa. “You should have just known” “Ive never heard of a transit visa and why should I just know. I don’t often make the two day journey to Tongan. In fact I never have!!” I was so pissed off. I was left on hold three times why he went to speak to "His manager" He explained that I could either book another flight and pay the difference or lose my money. "I'll book another flight for this weekend please" Off he went. On hold. Came back. "Right theres no flight this weekend to Tonga" "No flights. Really!" Then he went again. On hold. "I can get Paula to Sydney. Is that ok" "You can get him to Sydney? No that's not ok. He needs to get home. This is the problem he's just had!" Off he goes again. On hold. "No sorry I can only get him to Sydney" "So I'm going to lose my £899 plus fees!" "Yes" Smart. Thanks for nothing.
My Mam rang my Uncle and he went to Cumbria Travel in town. He called and said go down and speak to Jamie. He can sort you out. So off we went. Me, Paul, Mam and Milla. Jamie was great. He got Paul a flight to Tonga for the Saturday. So Budget Air were talking shit. Jamie said there were plenty of flights. He even called New Zealand Government to see if Paul needed a Transit Visa. He didn't as his stop over wasn't for longer than 8hours. His route home was different this time. He flew from Manchester- Do-ha -New Zealand- Tonga. Epic. With Budget Air it was going to take 45 hours and with Cumbria Travel only 35. It cost £1,500. I couldn't recommend them enough.
We had a lovely few days together. Just us. It was a strange feeling. It didn't feel as sad as we'd felt the worst pain the week leading up to him going.
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| Milla's First Snow⛄ |
Saturday, June 22, 2019
The Airport........ Round 1.
The night of the 27/01/2019 was our last night as a three. The pain I was feeling for Paul was unbearable. Me and Paul done the night time routine with Milla. We put her in her cot and we both just stood staring at her, hugging each other in floods of tears. "We're going to be ok" I said. "I know" Paul sobbed. We went and collected a Chinese Takeaway from Oriental Garden in Whitehaven. The best Chinese around. We sat at the table with my Mam and Dad and chatted away with lots of silences. "This doesn't feel right this" My Dad said. "Cause it's not" I replied. This shouldn't be happening. How dare they split our family up. I was so so angry and still am. More disappointed then angry. We went to bed that night knowing when we woke up that was it. Was it just for weeks, was it for months. No idea. The not knowing was the worst part. Not having a date to look forward too was torture. That morning was very quiet. Milla came into our bed for cuddles. Paul couldn't take his eyes off her. Bawling his eyes out. This is so so wrong. Thats all that kept going through my head. So so wrong. It was heart breaking. We can do this! Although we had all this pain we had to stay strong and most of all stay positive. Paul was all packed. That morning all all a blur now but we made our way down to Cheshire. We waited at my Grandma's as his flight wasn't until 7.10pm and it was a 15 minute drive from here to the airport. I just didn't want that time to come. It was getting closer and closer. I kept looking at him. He couldn't look me in the eye.
Off we went. Saying goodbye to my Grandma was all a blur now too. He was very fond of her as she was him. We got parked at the airport and made our way to the terminal. He was flying with Etihad and I booked the flight through Budget Air online through Sky Scanner. £899 it cost then the hidden added extras, THEN I had to book his seats through the Etihad website. £54. So in the end it cost nearly £1,000. We one t a get in the cue. It was busy. Milla on my front in a carrier. A worker said I couldn't wait with him so I went and stood at the side with Mam and Dad. If only that guy knew that our time together was so so precious. He cued for an hour. There was 8 check-ins and only 4 open. They were so so slow. 6pm. He was still in that cue. This was a long haul flight. No fish here it seemed. He finally made it to check in. And was there a further hour. We were all panicking. No one came to tell us what was going on. I managed to catch his eye. "What's going on?" I mouthed. "Can I come over?" "Your not allowed" he said. My Dad being my Dad, "Fuck this" and off he went. Then off I went. My Dad explained that he was his Father in-law. The girl behind check in had said Paul wasn't allowed his family to come over when he asked if his family could come over. How ridiculous! I went and spoke to her. How I kept my cool I don't know. "I'm trying to get him a Transit Visa" she said. "What's a Transit Visa?" I replied. "Because his stopover in Sydney is over 8 hours he needs a transit visa. Don't worry we'll get it sorted" "I've never heard of a transit visa" I said. "Neither have I" She said frantically making calls. There was a guy (I'm assuming her manager) who tried to whisper but clearly couldn't as I heard him say "Come on now. Leave this. There's other people who need checked in" How dare he!! Then another woman came over. Asking the girl who was dealing with us questions about other passengers. All three of the check in desks were hounding this poor girl. She was so apologetic towards us. The others were so so rude. Couldn't have cared less about us. She called Queensland to get Paul a Transit Visa but they said it was too late. It was now 6.50pm and his flight left in 20minutes. She asked me if I could go online and find him another flight from Sydney to Tonga. I said 1, I haven't got the money and 2, if there was a flight without an 11hour stop over they would have sold me that in the first place. I was shaking. Holding my baby girl. It felt like I was in a film. You see this stuff happening to people on telly and now this was a reality for us. "So he can't get on this flight?" I said. The airport like a ghost town. "No" "His visa end in 6days!" "Sorry there's nothing we can do" The other woman replied. I wanted to scream at her! NOTHING YOU CAN DO. YOU'VE DONE FUCK ALL ANYWAYS! YOU'RE CUSTOMER SERVICE IS APPALLING AND I WON'T BE RECOMMENDING YOU TO ANYBODY! But I kept my cool. "I've paid for his seats can I have my money back please?" "Sorry we don't deal with that side. You'd have to call them up. Did you book the flight through the Etihad website" "No, Budget Air" "No you'd have to call Etihad" I walked away as my Dad stood explaining everything. "The poor lad doesn't want to go but unfortunately he has to because our country has rules. His visa ends in 6days. What are we supposed to do now!" I'm sorry" she kept saying. She wasn't sorry at all. She just couldn't be arsed. A transit visa though. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous in your life! Whats the point in one of them! You can't leave the airport anyways. Anyone could tell you that. I felt numb and couldn't believe what had just happened. I felt like I was in a dream. We got back in the car and headed home. My phone started going mental with messages. "Did he get a way alright?" "Are you ok" Now I had to explain to everyone. What a nightmare. A positive comes out of every negative I believe and my positive was we got to spend another few days together💓
Off we went. Saying goodbye to my Grandma was all a blur now too. He was very fond of her as she was him. We got parked at the airport and made our way to the terminal. He was flying with Etihad and I booked the flight through Budget Air online through Sky Scanner. £899 it cost then the hidden added extras, THEN I had to book his seats through the Etihad website. £54. So in the end it cost nearly £1,000. We one t a get in the cue. It was busy. Milla on my front in a carrier. A worker said I couldn't wait with him so I went and stood at the side with Mam and Dad. If only that guy knew that our time together was so so precious. He cued for an hour. There was 8 check-ins and only 4 open. They were so so slow. 6pm. He was still in that cue. This was a long haul flight. No fish here it seemed. He finally made it to check in. And was there a further hour. We were all panicking. No one came to tell us what was going on. I managed to catch his eye. "What's going on?" I mouthed. "Can I come over?" "Your not allowed" he said. My Dad being my Dad, "Fuck this" and off he went. Then off I went. My Dad explained that he was his Father in-law. The girl behind check in had said Paul wasn't allowed his family to come over when he asked if his family could come over. How ridiculous! I went and spoke to her. How I kept my cool I don't know. "I'm trying to get him a Transit Visa" she said. "What's a Transit Visa?" I replied. "Because his stopover in Sydney is over 8 hours he needs a transit visa. Don't worry we'll get it sorted" "I've never heard of a transit visa" I said. "Neither have I" She said frantically making calls. There was a guy (I'm assuming her manager) who tried to whisper but clearly couldn't as I heard him say "Come on now. Leave this. There's other people who need checked in" How dare he!! Then another woman came over. Asking the girl who was dealing with us questions about other passengers. All three of the check in desks were hounding this poor girl. She was so apologetic towards us. The others were so so rude. Couldn't have cared less about us. She called Queensland to get Paul a Transit Visa but they said it was too late. It was now 6.50pm and his flight left in 20minutes. She asked me if I could go online and find him another flight from Sydney to Tonga. I said 1, I haven't got the money and 2, if there was a flight without an 11hour stop over they would have sold me that in the first place. I was shaking. Holding my baby girl. It felt like I was in a film. You see this stuff happening to people on telly and now this was a reality for us. "So he can't get on this flight?" I said. The airport like a ghost town. "No" "His visa end in 6days!" "Sorry there's nothing we can do" The other woman replied. I wanted to scream at her! NOTHING YOU CAN DO. YOU'VE DONE FUCK ALL ANYWAYS! YOU'RE CUSTOMER SERVICE IS APPALLING AND I WON'T BE RECOMMENDING YOU TO ANYBODY! But I kept my cool. "I've paid for his seats can I have my money back please?" "Sorry we don't deal with that side. You'd have to call them up. Did you book the flight through the Etihad website" "No, Budget Air" "No you'd have to call Etihad" I walked away as my Dad stood explaining everything. "The poor lad doesn't want to go but unfortunately he has to because our country has rules. His visa ends in 6days. What are we supposed to do now!" I'm sorry" she kept saying. She wasn't sorry at all. She just couldn't be arsed. A transit visa though. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous in your life! Whats the point in one of them! You can't leave the airport anyways. Anyone could tell you that. I felt numb and couldn't believe what had just happened. I felt like I was in a dream. We got back in the car and headed home. My phone started going mental with messages. "Did he get a way alright?" "Are you ok" Now I had to explain to everyone. What a nightmare. A positive comes out of every negative I believe and my positive was we got to spend another few days together💓
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| Screw you Monday! |
Thursday, June 20, 2019
Our last days as a 3
We have made some wonderful memories. Christmas was great and we truly showed Paul how us Brits do it. On Christmas Eve we left a carrot on the door step for Rudolph, a mince pie and a glass of red for Santa and we even sprinkled Reindeer food on the decking so he could find his way. It was a special Christmas. But still this whole leaving thing was hovering over us like a big dark cloud. We went fishing on Whitehaven Harbour. Seeing Paul fish was something else. He had a Heineken bottle attached to a long piece of wire with a weight and hook at the end with his bait on. 7 fish he caught in an hour!! We took Milla for her first swim. She absolutely loved it! We spent New Years Eve in with my Mam, Dad, Brother and his kids as his partner was on night shift. Just a nice chilled night. I don't really like doing anything on New Years Eve but my favourite thing to do is watch Joules Holland. We discovered the lovely Lowes Water and met a lovely lady with her Dog, Lowey named after the lake. She was now on her own as her Husband had sadly passed away a few years before. She lived down south and sold up and came to live in Cumbria. Her favourite place. My bestest Lauren who I met in Australia came home for a month over Christmas. Her Kewi Boyfriend Matt came over too and we met them at Grasmere. Another one of my fave places. It was sooooooooooo good to see her and Matt just bounce off each other. I was delighted to see how good she was doing and also looked. We also visited Rydal Caves. That was a good adventure. It was awesome. We spent a lot of time at our dear friends Daniel and David'. They have looked after us so much and I don't know what we'd do without them. So thank you you two🧡 I took Paul to Wasdale and we had an amazing Sunday Lunch at The Strands. We went for Afternoon Tea at Lingla Cafe in Frizington. Another little gem. We went to Buttermere and Paul danced on the icy puddles. We met a lovely little couple from The Wirral who were here on holiday. I love meeting new people. I believe it makes a massive difference to your life. The Rugby lads had a get together in the Club after Paul's last match. They presented him with a Rugby shirt with his name printed on the back and made him man of the match. He was so proud and it was very emotional. We had our last family meal at The Parkside. That was really nice. Paul also bought all cards for me that I'd be needing while he was away. Mothers Day, my Birthday, Valentines Day. That was a bit sad watching him write them out. The pain I was feeling let alone him was horrific. I can't even explain because I'd never felt this before. How were we ever going to get through this. Apart for at least 3 months! This is how long it can take. Up to 60 working days. Paul not seeing Milla grow and achieve. It was soul destroying.
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