.............

So....... The whole Family are sat round at my Grandma's, the eve of her funeral. Paul messages me. The post office have called him to say his documents are there and ready to collect. He'll ring me when he gets them. 10.30am his time and our 22.30. WhatsApp Video call. I can't even remember what he said now. I was numb. "Send me screen shots" I said. 'Your human rights claim in an application for entry clearance made on 15/03/2019 is refused'. That's all I could read. Is this some kind of sick joke. Paul's face. If only I could hug him right now. The numbness only became stronger. My brother took my phone off me and read through the reasons why. "WOW" he said. "What, tell me what!" I was frantic. "Shut up and let me sink this in then I'll explain" I felt shit. He was only trying to help. "Right" he said. Then explained everything. So here goes- He met eligibility for our relationship and eligibility for the English test. He passed on everything that was needed but the financial side. With a spouse visa you need to have a sponsor and with that I was to sponsor him but because I didn't earn the £18,600 per year I couldn't so my Dad would as third party. We had spoken to a retired immigration agent previous and she said that was fine. So we went ahead and did so. Because Paul had wrote a cover letter saying myself and Milla would be cared for by my parents and living in their home he knew we would be safe. He also said that he would worry about not being in Milla's life and her growing up without him and that she needed stability and believes a family should not be torn apart. My Dad also wrote a cover letter stating that me and Milla would live in his family home and we would be cared for until Paul came back and was able to work. This has gone against us. Another reason to the visa being refused was- 'Based on the information you have provided we have decided that there are no such exceptional circumstances in your case.' So basically if me and Milla were living on the streets they would consider that as exceptional. And breath........... I'll let you take that in too. It gets worse- 'We have reached this decision because you have demonstrated your sponsor and child is being financially supported by her parents, moreover you have noted about the separation between you and your child. I note you are a non-visa national and your wife is able to travel too. I further note you are able to keep in contact via social media and other means. Through this you can still exercise a family life with your sponsor and child. I am not satisfied a refusal would result in unjustifiably harsh consequences for you, your sponsor or any other family member. There are no exceptional circumstances in your case.' WOW (now I know what part my brother was reading.) It took me days to read through the reasons for refusal. It still baffles me. "A social media relationship" FUCK ME! Who was this decision maker. A robot? Someone with no soul. No humanity? No children? God forbid me for not falling in love with a British citizen! How criminal. So yeah. That's basically it. We decided we were going to appeal. We would talk about this another day. Tonight and tomorrow were about Grandma. We called Paul back and reassured him. "Thank you Jonathan" We were all so upset. He was helpless and there was nothing we could do right now.
The next day was a very sad one. We all had heavy hearts. What a beautiful send off for our head of the family. We all miss her terribly.
Later that day we were back at her wonderful home and Jonathan said call the Immigration Agent. He'd been looking for them the night before. I can't remember if I've said previously but we didn't pay for one when applying for Paul's visa (we won't be doing that again). I called one up in Manchester. I got an appointment for the very next day at 15.00. Perfect!
Me and Dad drove through. We went to a little office (this agent was recommended on the government website so we knew she was legit). She asked the situation (I've gotten really good at telling a very long story in approximately 7 seconds). I showed her the screen shots of the visa. "Right ok. You (she pointed to me) need to go and get a new job. You need to make at least £18,600 per year. Paul can't apply for another visa until you can prove this wage with 6months of wage slips." Shocked but surprisingly calm I was. Dad was a mess. He asked so many questions. "Can we appeal?" "I'm going to be honest with you . You could, but you might get a really nice judge that day in court with some humanity who will feel sorry for you BUT he still has to obey by the rules. It can also take up to a year for an appeal to even happen" Basically the government changed the rules (they do this quite often) 4-5 years ago. You were able to have a third party sponsor on a spouse visa but now the sponsor has to be the spouse. I have to go and find another job earning this amount or more. That means going full time and leaving my baby girl. Obviously its not what I want to do but I am prepared to do anything to get our family back together. Paul can come over on another visitor visa (6 months). We have to get the timing right because we are going to use this Immigration Agent (£650) to fill in the visa application with me and Paul present. So I got a new job only yesterday morning. Working as a carer in the community. I am absolutely devastated to have to leave a job that I truly love and to leave such an amazing team. I will miss you Swain Fam💚 but I am also really excited for a new adventure. My first wage slip will be the end of August. My sixth wage slip will be the end of January. So Paul will come over the middle of August and leave again the middle of February. He has to be out of the country to apply for a visa. We will fast track it this time which will give us a quicker decision but will also cost us £500. We have lost all the money for that application and Paul will have to start a fresh one. Our immigration agent will go through it all with Paul while he is here in this country and scan all his documents which get uploaded onto the system which is better then sending all the forms off and costing us more money (another new change in the system thats just came in in the last couple of weeks).

So thats where we are up to now. This country has failed me and my family. This whole situation has effected so many people on so many levels. I'm going to be honest (thats what this is about) I had to give in and go to the doctors last week. A good friend said to me if you had a chest infection you'd go and get antibiotics. If you had a water infection, you'd go and get antibiotics. So class anti-depressants as antibiotics. You have an infected brain so take antibiotics. They are slowly kicking in. They aren't forever but I have suffered for longer than I should have and I needed the help and there is absolutely no harm in asking for help. We all need to. And you know what, it makes you feel so much better just talking about it. For anyone reading this and wants to talk, please do. I'm always here. What I said to the doctor was (as I got very upset and promised myself I wouldn't) that if Paul was here this wouldn't be happening. My mental and physical health wouldn't be affected and I wouldn't be costing the NHS. By Paul not being here it is costing the government more money as because he is out of the country I'm classed as a single parent and I'm entitled to universal credits. More fool them.


Fingers crossed my next post will be Paul💙