Let the Journey begin

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Shittest news ever!

We had the most amazing months with our Girl. The best job ever! So overwhelmed with love. We said we would enjoy a couple of months then get applying for a Family Visa as Paul’s Visitor Visa would end on the 4th February. I still haven’t heard from Maternity Pay. I’d applied and knew I wouldn’t get pay from work as I hadn’t been there long enough so I was relying on Statutory Maternity. Milla was 7weeks old and I got a letter to say I wasn’t entitled to maternity. The reason being I had been out of the country 12 months and hadn't paid into the system. Hadn't paid into the system!! I've been paying into the system since I was 16 year old! One year out the country and I'm punished like this. I called the help line and a guy told me (very smugly) if I'd started 4 weeks prior to the date I actually started I'd have been entitled. Smart. I was broke. We were broke. If it wasn’t for my Mam and Dad putting us up I don’t know what we'd have done. Our money was quickly disappearing. Paul wasn’t allowed to work on a Visitor Visa and the only option was for me to go back to work. Come January I was back working Wednesday’s and Fridays. 16hours per week. I couldn’t bare to do anymore as my baby girl was so so tiny and this just wasn’t fair. Luckily I had Paul and he had her while I went to make a living. We were advised to apply for Universal Credits. But were told Paul wouldn’t be able to claim anything as he wasn’t a citizen. This was understandable. We had two separate interviews at the job centre. Citizenship interviews. Ohhhhh really! There is my BRITISH passport. Ridiculous. Never mind. Rules are rules. Days later I’d been approved. I AM a British Citizen. Hallelujah! I started getting this at the very end of November. It just covered my bills but I was just so grateful to get at least something. Work was very very hard. Well it wasn’t, I love my job but it was very hard leaving my girl. I felt like I’d been robbed. My time off with her was cut very short. I just had to get on with it. My Universal Credits weren’t affected as I was only working 16 hours.
We started to make an online application for a Spouse Visa. Very long winded. Lots of evidence to get together. Marriage certificate, proof of address, how long we’d been together, Milla’s Birth Certificate, photos, proof, proof and more proof. The list goes on. As we went to submit it at the end of November something told me not to do it. My sister in-law had a Filipino friend. She spoke to her as she and her partner had applied for the same visa. We went round to their home and they made us dinner. It was delish. We had a good crack and they had used an Immigration agent based in London who was also a Filipino. They called her and put her on loud speaker. She spoke to me and I told her Paul was on a Visitor Visa. Right away she said “Ohh he’ll have to go back.” “What do you mean, he’ll have to go back?” I replied with watery eyes. “Yes he’ll have to either go back home or at least leave the country. The rules are rules” Tears we’re streaming down my face. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the stomach. Paul couldn’t speak. My sister in-law had watery eyes and I just kept looking at Paul whilst he was holding our tiny baby girl while she was sleeping. She explained that when on a visitor visa you can't apply to extend because you are just here on a Visit, like a holiday. I understood but it didn't make sense, especially with our circumstances. (and for the gossipers that said he's been deported, you couldn't be more wrong). This is why I'm writing this blog. Rules needs to change for each individual case.
My heart was broken. We left and went home to my Mam and Dad and explained. We just had to get on with it. We all decided that we would enjoy Christmas. Our first as parents and Paul's first in England. He'd never had a cold Christmas. He was really looking forward to it. And then we would look at flights.

Friday, June 14, 2019

Baby Niua

On the Thursday 27th September 2018 at 14.59pm I gave birth (via an emergency c-section) to a beautiful baby Girl💖 Milla Ilisapesi (Elizabeth) Niua weighing in at 6 pound 13 and a half ounces. (I will talk more about my labour experience at a later date.) We were parents!! To this tiny little dot that was meant to be HUGE! She was just perfect and we were both thrilled. Cried and hugged her. She had to be taken before I held her. That was strange. I just wanted her but I was so calm and overwhelmed with the whole amazing experience.
I was in hospital for 4days afterwards (again I'll talk about this at a later date. I just want to get up to speed with this process) Here are a few photos.......... 👪

Our first walk. 5days old💖

4 Generations.

Welcome Home

We went back to my Grandma’s and spent the night there. We went out for dinner at Gusto’s which is my Grandma’s favourite restaurant. (On Tuesday morning my Grandma died very quickly. My heart is broken and I am also devastated that my lady is no longer with us. At least I can be grateful for the memories and that she got to meet my Husband and beautiful baby girl💖 Shine bright Grand Mama🌟)
The next day we went home. Paul settled into our family home very quickly and it was so good to see. Then along came the rest of the tribe. My Niece screamed (petrified by him🙈) and my Nephew was his best bud already. Out came the handshakes. Wow! How must he be feeling. So overwhelming. I promised myself and Paul that I would always look after him. He adapted to the British life very well. He made new friends, met my friends and even joined the local Rugby Union Team, Moresby RUFC. He started the gym and had an informal chat about a job which he could start once his visitor visa was over and on a spouse. Everything was looking very hopeful and he was very happy. All we had to do next was meet our baby😬 I was told I was having a HUGE baby and needed extra scans. Baby was off the growth scale!! Scary times. OUCH! Paul hasn’t been to a scan with me since I was 13weeks so I was so excited for him! At 36 weeks I had another. They took loads of photos and were obsessed cause you could see baby’s hair and Tongan nose! Wow, just amazing. Paul was thrilled. I said “WE DON’T WANT TO KNOW THE SEX SO PLEASE STAY CLEAR OF DOWN THERE!” They did absolutely that.
We had some great days out. I booked us a surprise night away near Keswick. It was so cute. Keswick is my favourite place and now Paul’s💚 We took our Niece and Nephew out a lot as they loved their “New Uncle Pauly.”